Monday, April 14, 2008

Sacrament

What does sacrament meeting mean to you?
Here is how it went for me yesterday. Pony Girl, Sweetums, Me then Little Man sit. Opening song begins and by the second verse I have grabbed Sweetums and moved her to the other side of me because she and Pony Girl have touched and both began a girly wrestling match. Little Man screams because Sweetums is now near him . I put him on the floor. Two verses go by--what was the song? hmmm, Opening prayer begins...Little Man starts YELLING "I WANT GUM." "I WANT GUM" I grab his mouth and whisper, "Fold your arms, it's prayer time." He replies "NO, I WANT GUM." Prayer ends. Who gave that? Bishop stands up and Little Man yells, "I WANT GUM." Holly who is sitting in front of me hands him a cough drop. He drops it. I bend over and find it and he happily sticks it in mouth, BOTH girls say (quietly thank heavens...) "I want one." I say, "No, you do not need one." Little Man gets a weird look on his face---hey, this is not candy..."I WANT GUM." I pick him up and head out to the hall. I calmly try to tell him that daddy has the gum and after sacrament time when daddy comes down, we will get some. he says "okay." I pray he means it. We head back in. I sit and discover Sweetums is STUFFING her mouth with Little Man's snacks. I look at her and she stops---until I turn around. I catch her again and she says, "But I'm hungry" (not quietly.) " I whisper to her that she had breakfast 30 minutes ago and STOP eating those. She says "HMP" and folds her arms harshly and puts on her "I am mad face" and begins kicking the bench in front of us. I grab her feat and stop them. Little Man starts laughing LOUDLY as the single guy behind us plays with him. I grab him and put him on the floor. I find cars in the semi organized church bag and he says..."MORE" (loudly--this kid does NOTHING quietly) I had him one more...he says "MORE" I find one more and hand it to him. He says "MORE" I tell him that is all. He says "OKAY." and plays quietly. Ahhh maybe peace....
NOPE I sit up and Pony Girl begins fidgeting and it is not unnoticeable. I hand her the primary theme book my girlfriend made for me (thank you Marci) and tell her to read quietly. she flips through it in 2 seconds and says snottily, "I am done." Sweetums grabs Little Man's cars and SCREAMING begins...the Sacrament song has just started...what is it?

... and the meeting progresses in a blur of me bending, grabbing, glaring and whispering "quietly please" .

What does Sacrament mean to me? It means I NEED A NAP!

7 comments:

Trisha said...

Hey Jackie!

This post brings back fond, fond memories! The first time Neil wasin the bishopric we had 4 kids ages 6, 4, 2 and a newborn! I never knew if I was coming or going...My then 2 year old would tell me before church,"I'm gong to scream during the sacrament today." Sometimes she would! Oh, those were the days! Actually, they still are! I just have a naughty 3 year old and newborn to deal with instead....

These days will be gone before you know it.

Nicole said...

Gotta say I feel much better about the fact that we sit in the cry room at church...often wondering when will we get to be "grown-ups" at church again...now I know, when my child(ren) have kids of their own!! HA

It's amazing how when we get ready for church, the biggest challenge is bringing enough for Nate to do, and quietly at that...gotta say though at least in the cry room he can't escape, most of the time anyway!! If I didn't have the interactive books that you have passed on to us, I don't know what I'd do, aaahhh!

Marci said...

Oh Jackie! Sometimes I wonder WHY I go to church, since I never get to listen to anything all the way through - including the sacrament prayer (which is the shortest thing in the meeting) and I can be a lot grumpier going out than I was going in. Then I remember that at LEAST I did take my kids to church and that is what they will remember - not the naugtiness but that we went week after week :) And when they are grown and we are alone, we can have true compassion for all the young mothers going through this cycle again.

Jackie said...

YES to you all!

Drowns Family said...

FuNNY!!! Publish that one!! You are the mormon version of Erma Bombeck!!! HAHA!! I love it!

Holly said...

You act like raising kids is hard or something! ;-)

Nebeker News said...

Hay thank you for the blog page, Your ideas are great. Sacrament is a joy.