Tuesday, October 28, 2008

A fly on the wall

So this week Mr. KIR took the week off work. If you know Mr. KIR, you know this is very unusual. He is a workaholic. I on the other hand, am quite good at wasting time and if I must say, seem to enjoy it. It has become quite a talent of mine to have a list of things to accomplish and get only one or two done a day. I have embraced my slackerish with almost relative ease. In fact I do not remember it happening. It crept upon me slowly like my old and baggy skin and the wrinkles on my face. I will admit, that most of our marriage I have worked tirelessly to bring Mr. KIR to my lazy side of living. But, alas, he has prevailed and still does not know how to relax. So when he took this week off, I was shocked. SHOCKED--until... he told me why. His company is making him...or he loses his vacation days. Ahhhh, the irony. (But have no fear...he has a list--a long list, of things to get done during this, his vacation week)

Monday morning dawned and it was business as usual. I got up, got the kids ready for school and went about my day. However at 9:00am. I realized...I have all the thing done it usually takes me all day to do...hmmm, how is this possible, me...lazy girl? Hmmm, I began noticing my surroundings. Where was my little man shadow? He was nowhere to be found. I meandered through the house enjoying my work and the peace and quiet. I found Little Man whining loudly to Mr. KIR about his pants and not washing his hands. Mr. KIR was patiently explaining that we always wear pants and the current ones he had been wearing were fine, that we always wash hands after potty--this was a hard and stead fast rule. "OHHH," I snuck away. I realized a profound realization. I am not lazy, slow or slackerish. The stuff around the house and on my list of "to do's" does not get done because of the little critters we so fervently insisted on creating. They suck the time, energy and patients right out of me. Such an epistle. I vowed right then and there to take full advantage of this week. I go to work. I finished my weeks worth of "to do's" and sat back to plan some strategies.

Tuesday morning.
Alarm goes off, Mr. KIR immediately gets up, and gets ready for the day. I leisurely mention to the two kids who arrive in our room to "go get dressed." I roll back over and wait for Mr. KIR. I then inform him of my complete and utter fatigue and must--absolutely MUST-- stay in bed for a few more hours. He con cures(what else would he do, the non relaxing type would never suspect that a person would actually enjoy or want to do such a time wasting activity) My plan was unfolding nicely. Mr. KIR began the pre-school activities. I rolled over and sighed deep within my restful bosom.

A few minutes pass. I hear very unusual sounds. I become a fly on the wall--or in the cozy-suppose-to-be-restful bed...whatever. I notice there is no clink, clink of breakfast eating. No, "Will someone help me tie my shoes?" No, zipping of back packs or rustle of snack packing. Just Little Man screaming and Pony Girl playing with a dog. Hmmm, I listen. My slumber slowly drifting out of reach. My plan melting. I listen. Screaming and nothing else. I wait.

I look at the clock. 12 minutes to departure time. I get up. UGH!!! I head down the stairs and discover three children who know what to do--have been doing all of their lives, causing complete and utter havoc on a poor unsuspecting dad. Little Man stopped crying the instant I entered the room and began eating breakfast--ahh...good boy:)
I take over.
I immediately say, "Sweetums. (who had been doing her morning routine right, just very, very slowly--good job girl) go get your shoes on and brush your teeth, then come back here for shoe tying and hair brushing."
"Pony Girl, this is breakfast, eat it! Get your shoes on and sit still while I brush your hair."
I do hair, pack back packs and snacks, get jackets, tie shoes, and over-see teeth brushing. I finish lunches and head them out the door, with 3 minutes to spare. I am all-mighty. I am MOM.

I then had another epiphany. I am not lazy, my kids are not life sucking embryos. I am mom, and they are my keep. THIS IS my "to do" list. The important one.

Tomorrow. I will get up when the alarm goes off.


Robyn said...

I swear we are sisters and that our husbands are brothers! Sounnds like life at my house.

Mark said...

What an incredible husband you have!! You certainly are lucky! Ha! Ha! You should have slept in a little longer, as the kids would have been just fine. They might have looked unkept, but they would have made it to school on time.

Joy said...

I am glad that I am not the only mom who wishes she could stay in bed and have the children get themselves ready and out the door by themselves!! But if Mr. KIR gets a week off-- I think that entitles you to a week or weekend off as well :) Remember we are doing an important work raising our children!! So keep it up you are doing great!!

Goddard's Gang said...

This sounds way to much like our house on the weekends. David, who is so loving and sweet does try and let me sleep in but it never works because of the two children running around the house. I get up and it is amazing the change that happens, things get done!!! At least he was trying to be sweet and I think he would have managed just fine, but you like me just don't give them a chance! It's my job to get things done at least that is what I tell David. LOL!!!

Heather said...

Oh, you make me laugh so hard! We try to be sneaky, but inevitably we are the ones that have to do the job and get it done... We are moms! When did this happen? I still think of myself as being so young. Time flies!

Holly said...

Ohhhh Jackie Jack....I wanna be a mom! Even after reading this post....I wanna be a mom.

Life with boys... said...

so as it turns out we are sisters and our husbands ARE brothers...oh the similarities. That being said, didn't it feel good to get everything done so quickly yesterday and early at that? It is a feeling I enjoy thoroughly, cause let's be honest it doesn't happen often, for instance I started the laundry this morning at 7a and there I sat still folding the first load at 1p, due to distractions.

As for Mr. KIR, by week's end they will all be singing a different tune! The way of a Dad though different is still effective, so Jacks you should get that moment for sleeping in on, say Friday??? It is Halloween after all and the excitement might just help your cause ;o) well it should.

3 1/2 more weeks and we'll be there, woohoo!!!

Marci said...

Wow, you amaze me! You are such a talented writer. When is your book coming out? I too feel the same way, I can get the kids to do things faster than my husband. Even his kids, I can get to do stuff faster. You are a mom and working on the greatest creation ever - your children.

Wep said...

THAT is hysterical!

Robin and Don said...

girl, write a book.

DIAZ BLOG said...

I agree with robin and don....write a book. There are very few blogs that can suck me in like yours! Your kids will cherish these posts when they are older!!!

Tara said...

Ok... that was too funny! You are so right on! Thanks for making my day!