Saturday, November 22, 2008

My Thanksgiving Day Contribution

I hate to cook. In both mine and my husbands family, I am the "sit on the couch while everyone else cooks but do the dishes afterward because this is a MUCH better job in my world" kind of girl. Once when I was in college, someone said to me, (put on stickiest, most condescending voice in your head possible please) "Oh, sweetheart, you can do it, all you have to do is try."

Now, I being the most gracious and diplomatic person ever, replied, (switch to your most obnoxious and condescending voice in head now...oh, and add a sneered face to make the moment complete,) " I never said I couldn't do it, I said I DON'T LIKE to do it."

Good huh! (Yaaaa, that is the me that is me.)

At Thanksgiving I am given the most meaningful and important jobs for the meal preparation! I am napkin girl, utensil coordinator, and my favorite: make sure the TV stays on this football game, gal.

Two years ago, someone made the mistake of asking me to be in charge of the all important, marshmallows on top of the yams, melting. As a well thought-out after thought, they asked my sister-in-law, Nickle Dime and Penny--who I will mention here---DOES cook, to supervise me. (HA)

Nickle Dime and Penny is awesomely fun! Always a hoot and a holler to be around. She is also the mother of two boys--one of which was a babe in arms that year. She rarely sits still, and is helpful to all in her path. It is with this disclaimer, that I remove her from the mishap that was.

I stuck the yam-olas in the oven and ya know...went away. EEEE GADS...A fire in sued. (Followed by "thank goodness your hubby is a volunteer fire fighter" jokes--haha, very funny!)

Thursday, November 20, 2008

She said, "WHAT?"

I was think thunken last night about my kiddos. Some funny memories popped into my head about Pony Girl and I thought I would post them--you know, for posterity sake...or blackmail--whichever.

When she was little, we were book "perfect" parents. I mean it, my friends have been so kind to inform me that we were the most OBNOXIOUSLY ANNOYING parents in the history of their existence. (Thanks guys:) She never tasted sugar until she was three (b-day cakes--use sugar free apple juice sillies:) We were scheduled, consistent and never spanked, or yelled. When she got in trouble it was , "PG, that behavior is unacceptable, please stop." "PG, how does that make you feel?" BLAH BLAH BLAH...
She was, in my defense, a wonderful little one...easy to be "perfect" with.

However, she was a silly napper. She still to this day needs less sleep than humanly possible (UGH!) So, I let her nap--wherever she wanted--as long as she slept. She of course, had her favorite spots and ideas. No big deal right? NOPE! One day, when I arrived to pick her up from preschool, the head teacher called me in and gently but firmly stated, "Pony Girl mentioned that at nap time you put her in the closet and lock the door, is this true?" (It was...but she WANTED to sleep there, and she could open the door herself I promise--remember...PERFECT parents!)

Another time (same teacher/same class) they had stories about kite flying and funny places to fly them. Pony Girl told the class loudly, I was informed, that if she ever flew a kite in our house..."OHHH, my mom would BEEEAT me."

When she was three, Sweetums and I were Mary and Baby Jesus in a live nativity scene. She was awestruck. She wore a Mary head dress for months after--everywhere. And for a good year, when asked what her name was she said, and I quote..." Mary, mother of know Christ the Lord."

When Little Man was born, she continued to get up early---VERY early! I would ignore and fake sleep most often. So, she went to the next person in line to entertain her. Sweetums. She would burst into Sweetums room and at the top of her lungs go, "URR URR URR URR URRRRRRR." like a know, because we had just moved to farm villa and she thought it was cool to hear such creatures.

I would like to say that she has outgrown her dramatic nature and is a peaceful and calm child. But I can't, 'cause that would be a lie. She is however, a most entertaining one, and a true joy to be around....for others.....for me, she just gets me in trouble.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

It's all in a name baby!

I got a request last week to know the "real" names of my children. Ummm...who says these aren't their real names...What, don't they sound like real names? I guess I should have gone with "Apple" like Mr. KIR wanted. Dang it!

Later, I mentioned this request to my friend, Lynnita Bonnita and it got me to thinking about the people I am close to. Some of my families names are: Peedg, Jannabannan, Ju (pronounced Jew,) Nickle Dime and Penny, and Bob spelled backwards is boB. Some of my friends are named: Reecy, Lynnita Bonnita, Missy Moo, Mary Mary Quite Contrary, Lease, Hollser, Ashers, and Marc-a.

Now you may be saying, "Wow, some freakishly weird namers are in the universe."

Nope, I actually just have habits I am sure they all wish I'd use only on the animal species. But as I've told you all before, I have never claimed to be normal. I actually may be as weird as they come. And now, I have officially passed this "weirdness" on. Oh yes in deedee do!

Pony Girls friends are Tay Tay, Ems, Brooky, and Gracey.

I began to realize this side of us, although endearing when you understand, is probably weird if you don't.

Well... it may just be annoying all together.

So, I have decided to explain myself to my family and friends, and you know, in case I meet one of you in a dark alley and start calling you my little Wooby Dooby or something. (Now, I know all you readers are hoping against hope, to be called my little Wooby Dooby, but don't. I mean, I may meet and rename you, as your dreams so desire, but I may not... just to make that clear.)
(And although I cannot speak for Pony Girl, I am pretty sure this explanation will fit her as well..I mean, I am her mother after all.)

So here is the explanation I feel fits this personality disorder best. My heart is easily swayed to love. I am a social maniac and connect easily with others. (Disclaimer here: I never said others connect with me easily... I just connect with them...I have been known to stalk a "friend to be" until they break down and see the lovable side within.) So, when I feel a connection with someone, I rename them. It is to best be explained as a "heart name."

Ahhh, now doesn't that make you all want one? I thought so!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Recipe for Disater

  1. When your kids ask to shake up the bedtime routine by putting on swimming suits and bathing all together in the jet tub...let them, as they will get alllll hyped up right before bed time.
  2. After they are sufficiently hyped and loud, (and stinky for that matter as you know there was no washing done in the a fore mentioned tub,) let them sleep all together in the basement.
  3. Start a movie and then when you hear them playing instead of watching...letitgo.
  4. When it is sufficiently late that normal children would be calm and then sleep a bit later in the morning, have them lay down.
  5. When they freak out, start the movie over and let them stay up even later to watch it.
  6. Forget to have Little Man go potty before you make him lay down.
  7. Wake up suddenly when Little Man pees all over the floor, himself, and his bed.
  8. While Mr. KIR cleans up that mess, calm the, SCREAMING BLOODY MURDER LIKE SOMEONE IS STEALING EVERY TRACTOR HE OWNS AND SMOOSHING THEM TO SMITHERINES, child and clean him up in the process.
  9. After you have rocked him for awhile and he insists on continuing to sleep downstairs, let him.
  10. When you go down to re-tuck him in, deal with Pony Girl who is freaking out because you inadvertently gave more blankets to the other two kids and she is now sufficiently wounded with-in her soul and FREEZING.
  11. Stumble up the two flights of stairs without your glasses and try to go back to sleep, but write this blog in your head instead causing no sleep, but rather "sometimes I hate and love the blog world all at the same time" thoughts.
  12. Drift off to sleep just in time to hear the TV blaring and Little Man yelling, "I want cereal now."
  13. Groggily get up and go down to discover the alarming noises.
  14. Inform Pony Girl and Little Man that it is STILL SLEEP TIME.
  15. When Pony Girl acts shocked, tell her the time and send her back downstairs.
  16. As she grumbles about time, not sleepy, and mean mom, insist that Little Man go back to bed as well.
  17. When he informs you loudly that he is no longer tired and hides behind the new and beautiful couch, turn off all the lights until he pokes his head up so you can grab him.
  18. Pick him up while he screams, "I WANT CEREAL."
  19. Give him some.
  20. When he insists on sleeping in the basement again, let him.
  21. Get up at about the same time as every other day as Pony Girl comes in informing Mr.KIR that it is Saturday and time to make the weekly muffins for breakfast.

Ahhh, goooood times ahead at our house. And...Our Piece of the Pie, if you want to add this to your recipe site--feel free--It is a sure fire "happy family" winner!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Our budding actress

Pony Girl had mini school plays today. Little Man and I loaded up with cheese crackers and chocolate milk and sat back to enjoy. The kids were so cute! The plays were so funny and the kids had a great time. The theme was fractured nursery rhymes. I LOVED THEM ALL. My actress was in Re"fun"zel, and the Little Red Robin (hen).
Here are some pictures of the budding actress.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Morning Funnies

#1 Pony Girl woke up and announced that her throat hurt. She then informed me, "My throat hurts because my white blood cells are being killed off by germs." Apparently my child is a GENIUS!

#2 Sweetum's laid out her clothes last night for school like this...

(Just in case you could not see her rendition of her face, here is a close-up--nice teeth)

and then her jammies after she got dressed this morning like this...

#3 and when Little Man and I went grocery shopping today he spotted the Charmin toilet paper with the bear on it and said, "Look mom, a poop bear."

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Ramblings of an old women

Due to the fact that my blogging brain has been in a funk, a stacking effect of posts in my brain cavity was created. They have been waiting for the havoc inducer to get out of their way--it is out. Now my thoughts are racing so fast I can't get my brain around any one of them to make a complete and rational today is rambling day... Lucky you!
Ramble 1: I love Fall here In Charleston. It reminds me of D.C. The wonderful colors are breath taking. All the orange, red, gold, tan, brown and green leaves make me want to frolic and sing...lalalalalalalala
Ramble 2: My arm hurts from the wii.
Ramble 3: I know who my kids teachers voted for. No, I did not talk to, or ask them...because frankly, I do not care who others voted for. I vote as educated as I can and hope others do the same. Then, I support and root for whomever wins. SO --- how do I know? Because they are both too young to totally understand who to vote for, and yet they both have come home for the last week spewing forth political views and opinions. I have answered questions and helped them with info. to the best of my ability---never once trying to sway them. I loved how passionate each one was about their views. This morning one came down yelling---"Did Obama win?" The other saying..."NO! McCain should." I did not answer. I turned on the TV and we sat down to listen and watch together. AND I finally told them who I voted for. It is so awesome to watch them, and see them learn.
Ramble 4: I took Little Man to a Halloween party last week and felt old. The other mom's with kids his age were young and fresh. Vibrant looking with pony tails and hip clothes. They made me feel tired and haggard looking. Ugh--old age is a bummer.
Ramble 5: We need new brakes in our 10 year old car (the nicest one we own)...shesh, buy a new one already.
Ramble 6: We got a new couch and chair -- they are brown leather and oh so BEAUTIFUL. The chair is so big, all three of my kids sit comfortable in it. I love them (the new furniture that is...okay, okay...I love my kids too.)
Ramble 7: I hate CF (cystic fibrosis) Our friends Holly and Justin (read here to learn about them) came to stay for the weekend. Justin went home Sunday night, and Holly was going to stay for the week. Stupid, Dumb CF created an infection in her lungs Sunday night and she had to go home and check into the hospital. Stupid, Dumb CF!
and lastly...
Ramble 8: Mr, KIR's fire department had their annual fund raising "Breakfast All Day" this last weekend. Mr. Kir arrived at the firehouse at 4:00am and stayed until 9:00pm. People filed in alllll day as the breakfast is yummy--I am telling you the smells waft forth from him for days after (usually.) Here are a few of the photos for your viewing pleasure:

Ramblings and brain spew now complete. Ahhhh.