Saturday, November 15, 2008

Recipe for Disater

  1. When your kids ask to shake up the bedtime routine by putting on swimming suits and bathing all together in the jet tub...let them, as they will get alllll hyped up right before bed time.
  2. After they are sufficiently hyped and loud, (and stinky for that matter as you know there was no washing done in the a fore mentioned tub,) let them sleep all together in the basement.
  3. Start a movie and then when you hear them playing instead of watching...letitgo.
  4. When it is sufficiently late that normal children would be calm and then sleep a bit later in the morning, have them lay down.
  5. When they freak out, start the movie over and let them stay up even later to watch it.
  6. Forget to have Little Man go potty before you make him lay down.
  7. Wake up suddenly when Little Man pees all over the floor, himself, and his bed.
  8. While Mr. KIR cleans up that mess, calm the, SCREAMING BLOODY MURDER LIKE SOMEONE IS STEALING EVERY TRACTOR HE OWNS AND SMOOSHING THEM TO SMITHERINES, child and clean him up in the process.
  9. After you have rocked him for awhile and he insists on continuing to sleep downstairs, let him.
  10. When you go down to re-tuck him in, deal with Pony Girl who is freaking out because you inadvertently gave more blankets to the other two kids and she is now sufficiently wounded with-in her soul and FREEZING.
  11. Stumble up the two flights of stairs without your glasses and try to go back to sleep, but write this blog in your head instead causing no sleep, but rather "sometimes I hate and love the blog world all at the same time" thoughts.
  12. Drift off to sleep just in time to hear the TV blaring and Little Man yelling, "I want cereal now."
  13. Groggily get up and go down to discover the alarming noises.
  14. Inform Pony Girl and Little Man that it is STILL SLEEP TIME.
  15. When Pony Girl acts shocked, tell her the time and send her back downstairs.
  16. As she grumbles about time, not sleepy, and mean mom, insist that Little Man go back to bed as well.
  17. When he informs you loudly that he is no longer tired and hides behind the new and beautiful couch, turn off all the lights until he pokes his head up so you can grab him.
  18. Pick him up while he screams, "I WANT CEREAL."
  19. Give him some.
  20. When he insists on sleeping in the basement again, let him.
  21. Get up at about the same time as every other day as Pony Girl comes in informing Mr.KIR that it is Saturday and time to make the weekly muffins for breakfast.

Ahhh, goooood times ahead at our house. And...Our Piece of the Pie, if you want to add this to your recipe site--feel free--It is a sure fire "happy family" winner!


Robyn said...

I think that you were at my house last night and only changed the names to protect the innocent!

The Grandpa said...

Did you find one of my old family films. Thanks for the memories.

missy said...

My children will NOT read this blog...

Alyson (New England Living) said...

Sounds oh-so-familiar! Thanks for the recipe for disaster, but I think I already have it.

LisAway said...

Oh! Weekly muffins? I want some weekly muffins!

Sounds like a total blast. Party central. All night long. :)

(I wanted to tell you that you didn't sound rude at all in your comment on Becky's post yesterday, I mostly just wanted to say that I used to feel just like you do etc... No hard feelings :)) That's not my double chin, the second one is the closing of the parentheses. Just so you know. :)

DIAZ BLOG said...

you are absolutely the funniest person I know! We have to plan a vacation and get together!