Saturday, January 31, 2009

Redneck Illinois

What would cause my three year old son to be wearing these (tights and leg warmers) and asking, "Dad, can I go take a bubble bath?"

I shall explain

See, I am an Idaho girl at heart. I lived and breathed snow most of my life. Where I am from, winter is REAL! It starts snowing in October, and some years goes into May. (Check out this picture from May in 1993.) It gets so deep there, cars have been known to get lost!

Now, don't get me wrong, winters here in Illinois are FREEZING!!! COLD--that is all winter is here. There is no fun to be had. People stay inside so as not to get frost bite on their eye balls and anything else that is not protected. There is snow...about an inch, and it is a wet snow...verging on ice at all times. If there is more, it will melt within a day and be muddy ice. It is basically just wind and biting chill. I have lived here for 12 years now, and can honestly say that I have seen real snow twice--several years apart. So many years apart that our oldest is the only one to have every been sledding, and she does not remember it. When we first moved here from Utah, the unpacker dudes unloaded our skis/boot/poles, solid snow boots, and snow shoes and laughed and asked exactly where did we think we had moved to?

But three days ago it snowed here enough to make the Idaho in me jump for some serious joy! I was so excited! I could not wait to go play! I had to go play! I HAD TO! So Mr. KIR and I went out in search of snow gear to get us ready. Mr. KIR went to one store, found a sled and came home...such a Midwesterner. I on the other hand, went to 6 stores and scoured this side of the state. I was still only marginally successful. I was LUCKY to find snow boots for the kids, and only one store had two pair of snow boots in my size (men's). I could not find any real gloves and absolutely no snow pants or any other snow play paraphernalia.So in order to take the kids sledding with Mr. KIR's cousin David, I went home and did what all Illinoisans do. I got out my redneck.

I searched all over the house and made a big pile of stuff that would keep us all warm. I had:
  • the girls dance leg warmers
  • 3 pairs of Sweetums tights
  • 4 pair of sweat pants
  • Mr. KIR's long johns
  • Sweetums only turtle neck
  • hand me down snow pants (navy-size 5, red-size 5, purple/pink-size 3, light blue-size 2)
  • 4 coats (mine-green, Pony Girl's-grayish blue, Sweetums-pink, Little Man's-yellow)
  • several pair of thin Illinois style gloves (layering, I would be layer)
  • hats of varying colors
  • scarves we own for building Mr. snowman
  • and socks...lots and lots of socks.

    We all looked like the best Hillbillies this side of the Mississippi. Everyone's pants were too little, and high-waterish, and nothing matched. I was elated. We would be warm...Pony Girl was not amused! As we headed out to the only place in town with any sort of hill, she informed me that she was going to be so embarrassed because she looked HIDEOUS! (She is just lucky I did not do as David suggested and wrap their feet in walmart bags and stuff them back in their tennis shoes--Thank Heavens we had boots for his little girl too!) I simply informed her that she would soon be having so much fun she would not care what she looked like. (I got a good eye rolling for this one:)

    It was hilarious to see what people were wearing and using as sleds! I so wanted to take pictures and post them. But my inner "not want to be considered the weird lady at the hill who parents must protect their children from" gene, I didn't. Just know, that we were the best dressed on the hill, and grain sacks, pool floaties and inner tubes are all considered fine Illinois snow toys.

    We sled for a few hours and played on the park equipment before heading home. We had a blast! My kids were worn out and my old bones ached. We had hot cocoa and I needed a bubble bath.

    So you see, that explains why Little Man was being so Little Man-ish in his tights, leg warmers and wanting a bubble bath. If you had been here, you would have looked just like him!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Black listed

Pony Girl is on the BLACK list in my world!
A few days ago she randomly asked me if cars had been invented when I was a little girl. BAD question little one. But, I am a forgiving and loving mother, so I let it go. Yes, I letitgo. It rolled off roughly, but rolled off none the less.
BUT today, the little "needs her mouth washed out with soap" said this jewel of a phrase:

Me: (flipping on the TV), "Oh. look guys, Little House on the Prairie, I watched this show when I was a kid."
Pony Girl: "On what, a slide show thing?"
Me: (turning my head ever so slowly, taking a very deep and cleansing breathe, looking directly into those pearly green eyes..): "UMMM, no, the TV."
PG: (acting very shocked,) "They had TVs way back then."

Black list I tell ya...B L A C K L I S T

Friday, January 23, 2009

The awfulness that is Red Dye

My friend Ashley won't let her kids have red punch because red dye is bad for their health. I won't let mine have it because of this....



Yes, that is our ceiling (not sure why it looks brown,as in real life it is pink, very very pink) and some of our cabinets. AND this is after I spent about 45 minutes cleaning it up from everywhere! AND I MEAN EVERYWHERE!

Now, as an added bonus...for me:) Mr. KIR had to bring part of his Fire Fighter uniform home to take it to have some some sewing done. I HAD to take pictures! I love him in the thing...As you can see from his face, he was NOT amused at my request...Who cares: I am women, do as I say and no one gets hurt!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Hidden Treasures

Our landscaping is rocks. We are amazing that way...just take a bunch of rocks, put them in a pile, add a few plants/ bushes, and call it beautiful. The ambiance is nothing if not breathe taking. It creates other joys too! For instance, last summer my kids were fascinated with finding cool rocks of all sorts. So I, being the wonderful, thoughtful mother that I am, bought this:



Oh, the yips and hollers that ensued, you would have thought it was Christmas. They spent hours digging through and finding "knowledge" in our landscaping piles. Which in turn, meant "treasures" were discovered, and KEPT. KEPT. KEPT.

I started to find these,


all over my house. And when I say all over, I mean all over: under pillows (YES), beds, behind chairs, in book shelves, and in toy boxes. When questioned, the little collecting critters I am raising, insisted that they were "priceless" and MUST, absolutely MUST be kept.

Genius that I am, informed them that the large and beautiful rock piles we call landscaping , were actually special rock collections I got just for them. They were special, and all theirs. They were to keep them neat and tidy, pull the weeds out of them (oh if only this one had worked), and most importantly: keep all their rock "jewels" there.

I helped them dump their treasures into special spots, and we admired them daily. They would bring a few treasures in the house occasionally-- for further inspection and ohhhs and ahhhhs from the parents. But then I, being the ever so helpful mother that I am, would promptly trek to the door and chuck...oops, I mean, gently place, the treasures back in the secure and beautiful rock collection piles.

All was well...or so I thought.

Recently I have been cleaning out--purging...one of my favorite "do to the house and kids/hubby's stuff" hobbies I have, and decided the kids stuffed animal containers in their rooms were to full and needed a good go through.



Pony Girls: check
Little Mans: check

Sweetums: WHaaaat?

I found this at the bottom:



Someone is wise beyond her years, wise to my ways, and oh so sneaky.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Date Night

You know when you are single and you go on dates where you actually DO something. I know, I know, going out to eat is something. But I mean a date where you actually laugh and talk nonstop and are actively getting to know someone. That's the kind of "do something" date I am talking about.

See, Mr. KIR and I have been married for 12 years...I think. I am always one year off and the math is too hard to figure, so it has either been 11 or 12 years. (He teases me nonstop about this and says I would forget his birthday if it wasn't attached to mine...he's probably right. Things actually FALL out of my brain...Literally fall out. As soon I as I put them in there...they just slip right out. )

Hmmm, where was I?...Oh ya, back to dating...

When Mr. KIR and I were dating, we did all sorts of fun stuff. We went on picnics, skiing, to plays, concerts, he cooked yummy meals, etc... After a few kids, no money and oldness, we settled into a nice-go out to eat and head home so we would not have to pay the babysitter more because we are poor, lame and boring- kind of date night..

However, last night Mr. KIR and I went on a "do something" kind of date. We went bowling. Of course we had the usual dinner first...I mean we are old and set in our ways...and too much change all at once could be too much...heart attack inducing even...

But last night we went bowling. We brought another couple along for a little trash kicking. (I DID take bowling in college thank you very much!) I talked the talk and Mr. KIR walked the walk...we make such a nice couple that way! It started out GREAT. The men...well, they were evenly matched. However, I felt fairly confident we would walk out of there champions because I, my friends, was smokin' the lane! SMOKIN' THE LANE. I got at least 4 or 5 my first 4 bowls and was on it. YOU HEAR ME? ON IT! Emily got four gutter balls in a row. I mean who can come back from that?

As the game progressed...well, I shall leave that unsaid...

Let's just say I left with a carpel tunnel throb, lung damage (smoke inhalation as although we live in a smoke free state, the smoke stench on clothing is REAL I tell ya, and the only smoke 10 feet away from any public entrance rule is IGNORED and unenforced) and a WHOOPING score of 87 points. Mr KIR ended the night with a 105. We are talking BIG numbers here right! Right now you are probably thinking..."Ya, it's in the bag--they ROCKED." But alas...you would be wrong. The other couple (losers!) left feeling pretty proud and cocky with 89 and 113. Can you believe it? I know! I think cheating was involved somewhere along the lines!

AND THEN, Mr. Kingpin (as I shall refer to him from this day forth) had the audacity to say to me as he sauntered away after he payed was, "I just payed for your a*# whoopin'."

Freakin' Idiot! It was my plan all along...FREE bowling...BEST DATE EVER!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Having an OLD body makes for one smart brain!

Last night, Mr. KIR was gone when bed time arrived. I put the kids to bed and took up post outside the Little "pain in my butt" (literally) Man's door--lights a blaring, door wide open. For one hour I sat and read a book. He kept sticking his little (previously--before this habit) cute head out to see if I was still there. I did get up once to get a Kleenex (two steps from his room) and he came a running like the boogie man himself had escorted him my way. I calmed him down and re-tucked him in. Did I mention I sat for ONE HOUR and 8 minutes...Oh yes, I did. Then Mr. KIR arrived on the scene, I GRUMPED big time--the noise had reawakened an almost asleep Little Man Horror and I was ticked!!!! Being the rescue hero he is, I promptly left my post in the capable butt sitting Mr. KIR's butt, and went to the basement...as far away as I could get. I figured tears and screams would ensue upon my departure (it usually does...for everyone who must leave my presence...my aura...a curse really.) After only 10 minutes-10 minutes, I went up to the main level, and there was Mr. KIR sitting on the "oh so new and wonderful" couch watching TV. WHAT THE? Looking around wildly, frightened like, I said, "What...uhh...how are you here...where is Little Monster of My Own?"

He shrugged his shoulders. Apparently after I made my hasty departure, Mr. KIR sat down and Little Mister Make his Mommy MAD Man saw him and went right to sleep. Oh I see.

Then this morning when I woke up, I put on the old work out clothes, and my knee buckled. OUCH! Some subconscious way of getting out of the ensuing torture since this old body has not seen the exercise side of life in several months, way of rebelling? Maybe. But we all know that I am OLD and the old knee was letting Mrs. Butt know that her sitting on the cold, hard floor for hours on end is OVER!

Being the brainy old lady that I am, I decided to try a new tactic. I gently informed Little Man that at nap and bed time, Mom and Dad would read, pray, tuck in, spray monsters, leave flashlight, turn on lights, leave the door wide open, and his bed by our bed would be made and ready if he needed it, but we would not be sitting on the floor outside the door. He looked at me with his huge blue eyes and I almost folded...almost...

He looked right at me and nodded his sweet little head. I shall repeat...He nodded his sweet little head.

I almost wept...but my knee buckled and I winched in pain instead.

Will it work? I do not know...but by golly...by knee hopes so!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Sleep Trouble

Over the three week holiday, our children slept in the same room (although many different ones) every night. They love this. In the past, I have always loved it as well. The thought of them wanting to giggle, read and snuggle late into the night always pulled at my heart strings. This time was no different...until it ended. Three weeks is the longest stint they have ever had of this simple pleasure. But now that they are all in their own beds, Little Man is AFRAID of his own bed...alone...in the dark..with monsters...and alligators...and spiders...

My bottom end is soar and I am exhausted. For four nights straight we have put him to bed with the door wide open and his night light and hall light beaming. I then have to sit in the hall for up to an hour and a half so he will actually stay in bed. Then inevitable, he will come into Mr. KIR and I's room at 2 am grumpy and refusing to return to the horrors of his private domain. I comfort, and sooth, Mr. KIR grumps. It goes on for at least two hours before I finally get him to sleep on our floor. Nap time is no different. I rock, read to him and then sit in the hall.

I have thought about doing the irreversibly "in the end causing more trouble" thing, and giving in. My brain is losing the capacity for logical reasoning. I sooo want to just rocking him to sleep, or let him sleep with us, or let him sleep on the floor in one of his sisters rooms, and take a nap with him...in my big, comfy, snuggle cozy, yummy bed--sleep deprivation will do that to a person!!

Monday, January 5, 2009

Drawing Me Beautiful

I always new I was the best looking one in the family! Now with Pony Girls most recent Sacrament Meeting drawings, it is such an apparent reality. I almost hate posting them....almost! I would like to point out that obviously the kids did not get their ears from my side of the family! Thank goodness they did get my nose though!

Me


Mr. KIR


Sweetums


Little Man


Pony Girl