Friday, February 27, 2009

Potty Mouth

Hilarious conversation in car yesterday:

Little Man: "Poop, Pee, Poop and Pee. Boogers. Poop, Poop, Poop."

Me: "LM, please don't say those potty words. We only use nice words."

LM: "Mom, are potty words bad words?"

Me: "Yes"

LM: "I don't say bad words. Pony Girl doesn't say bad words. Sweetums doesn't say bad words. Mom doesn't say bad words...but Dad, now he says bad words. I am going to have to wash his mouth out with soap because he says bad words all the time."

Me: giggle giggle chuckle "Hmmmm, you don't and I don't but dad does?"

LM: "Yep, Dad says potty words and bad words and potty words. He needs soap in his mouth"

WHY would I giggle at such a sad realization from my three year old? Because it is SO not true. I can honestly say with 100% positiveness that the kids have NEVER heard Mr. KIR say a bad word in their lives. Me on the other hand....wellllll let's just leave that one unanswered shall we!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Free Bracelet

Company is coming. So, I got myself a new bracelet. I did not plan on getting a new bracelet. It was free...just a bonus for all my hard work and preparations.

Wanna see it?

As I said, free ...after a bazillion dollar deductible!

You can get one too, just grab an arm full of recycling, sheets, and an air mattress. Head down the stairs making sure you have slippery socks on, can't see where you are going, or have a hand to hang onto the hand rail. Then go for it...TRIP away!

I also got this:


A sprained foot. Later, after I had fallen, I had to go to the doctor for something totally unrelated and he mentioned my "gimpness." I told him of my "trip" and he wanted to take a look. He informed me it looked more like a brake than a sprain and recommended an x-ray--(hence the bracelet.) He said when you break a toe here:


It is no big deal. They just tape the toes together and let it heal,
but if you break it here:



That is bad. It can cause chronic pain and needs to be check out by a podiatrist. UGH! (can you see the bend marks from where it bent? I am talking OUCH!--plus it is swollen..not that you can tell in the picture...but trust me--swollen!) Luckily mine is only a sprain.

So if company is coming your way, or you just feel like a bit o' pampering, SLIP into a bracelet like mine!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Clean Genes

The kiddos were outside the other day playing. Little Man was TICKED OFF because he could barely walk. The ground was full of this:

Every time he moved the ground made a "sloooop" sound and sucked his little foot under. He lasted about 10 minutes and then came to the back door. He was a mess! As I opened it, he was heading back out--I thought. He actually looked up at me and then looked at his cowboy boots and said, "I need to take them to wash, Mom." He then went straight over to his water table and dipped the said boots in...with his feet still in them. I, being a clean freak, was so proud!

This is the BEFORE shot:He swirled and swooshed until he felt satisfied. He took them off and came inside.

Here, would be the place where I show you the all clean boots...but I can't! Little Man's concept of "wash them off" and my version vary drastically. But I can show you how the "clean" genes obviously did not get passed on.

AFTER:

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Nagging is for the birds

Previously in the KIR home, this has gone on:

Me: (scratching backs lightly and speaking in an ever soothing voice) "Come on sweety pie...let's get dressed for school."
SILENCE
Me: "Get dressed...time for school."
SILENCE
Me: "Get dressed girls"
SILENCE
Me: "GET DRESSED"
SILENCE
Me: (Red in the face and HOT) "GEEEEEEEEEEET DREEEEEEEEEEESSED!!!!!!!!!!"

(REPEAT the nagging scene several times over for: "Get your shoes on, eat , brush hair/teeth, get your backpack, get in the car...")

Only four years into this "get the kids to school in the morning routine", and I finally decided our "routine" needed some figuring out! I know, I amaze myself too!

So I decided to pull out the mommy powers, and make some changes!

Now, to avoid the all confusing "do I get ready now or play and wait until mom blows a gasket" dilemma, I wrote up the morning-do list . I posted it on the fridge and brought the ya-hoos I rarely claim in the mornings, to view the master piece. I pointed out every step in order and then quizzed the rascals. They were surprising astute, fully aware of what was "suppose" to happen each morning. Good, my powers were working!

We went on.

NOTHING. I repeat, NOTHING changed. Obviously the powers were not instituted correctly! I pondered the situation and decided on a risky tactic. I would again remind them of the routine and then....nothing. YEP, I played fire with fire. I woke them up and ask them each if they knew what they were to do. Each responded positively. I went downstairs and heard, "...giggle...giggle, laugh... "

Hmmm. However, I did nothing...remember, FIRE.

Then, at exactly 7:35 am, I announced, "Get in the car, it is time to go."

I heard: "WHAAAT, I have not had breakfast, brushed my hair, teeth...blah, blah, blah.)"

My response, (said in sticky sweet, mock soothing voice): "Oh wow, did you not know what you were suppose to do?"

SILENCE (oh, except the "hahahahahaha" going on in my head.)

Next morning...same thing. Truthfully, I was getting shaky. I mean, I did not miss the nagging, yelling, or doing most of it myself. I did however have pride: Pride in self . People were going to start wondering about that KIR mom. I mean really, KIR kids coming in unfed with stinky breath and un-brushed hair. EEE GADS

BUT, I pulled out the "self talk" mantra (come on Jacks, you are strong, you can do this...it is for the greater good...) I held my ground.

Third day:
Me: "Girls, start your morning routine, please."

Sweetums shot out of bed like fire was in her jammies, did her stuff and sat by the door ready to go 20 flipping minutes early...you heard me 20 MINUTES EARLY! That girl could book-it!

Pony girl: ...ladi da de da da da ...

The powers ROCKED again.. I mean one out of two isn't bad...right?!