Thursday, April 30, 2009

Fire Starter

When the youth of our church said they wanted a bonfire at the KIR house...I was all for it...they are great girls and I love their silliness. However, when Mr. KIR was not going to be home the night of the event, panic struck--how was little ol' me going to man a fire, entertain the girls, and watch my three little kids with chocolate, marshmallows and a HUGE roaring inferno in my yard?

Why you ask? It took me awhile, but now I realize that by being married to Mr. KIR, I have been warped.

See, Mr. KIR is a pyro...when a young lad, he and his friends would head to Bear Lake in Idaho and build HUGE fires on the beach---designing words/art and paths with lighter fluid! OH MY! When we got married it continued. (and even though I love you, I blame you, Mr. You're Killing Me Campbell). When we have bonfires in our back yard...they are HUGE sometimes so dang hot you have to put your chair miles away to even sit. Mr. KIR starts them a good 30 to 45 minutes before anyone arrives and strokes them caring-ly and lovingly. I am so used to this that I have forgotten any other way. So in my mind, I was not going to be capable of this type of care with all the other things going on. I needed someone else to help! So I enlisted the help of a capable young college student just back from school.

He arrived a few minutes before the girls and said, "Okay, what do we do?" Interesting...

I had him get the wood while I wadded up the newspaper and put it in the designated fire section. I then had to tell him to build a tee pee kind of thing with the wood and gave him the matches. Do you see where this is going?

He lit one match, and threw it in. It did not start. So I being Mr. KIR's wife through and through ask, "Do you need some lighter fluid?"

He didn't think so...hmmm, WHAT?

He pretty much walked away as one of the girls began talking. So, I gingerly lit the fire. (I used the ol' matches to a paper log idea and did not even need lighter fluid. I impressed myself, oh yes indeedy!)

Now, at this time "Mr. just returned from college, good looking, cute girls are here, young man" proceeded to interact with the lovely young girls and neglect the fire. I am talking TOTALLY ignored the thing. You heard me...he is NO PYRO!

The fire started to burn out so I put on a few bits of wood. A few...just little ones. I then was able to sit and actually enjoy the fire. I was able to sit close, admire the beauty of the ember redness. I watched my kids play and talked with a few of the not enthralled with "Mr. just returned from college, good looking, loving this attention, young man".

At one point I joked with "Mr. just returned from college, good looking, ignoring the fire, young man" saying , "Hey Fire Starter, your fire needs wood." Mostly so I would not have to get up and get the wood myself. I had to anyway--he was busy...young girls and all--hanging on his every move.....

When it was time to go, I went to get some stuff to help "Mr. just returned from college, good looking, busy with the girls, young man" put out the fire...BUT while I was gone (like ten seconds,) HE LEFT. I am NOT kidding..."Mr. just returned from college, good looking, has no fire sense, young man" left my house: fire going, grass all around, kids running in my yard LEFT. I quickly took stock of the fire and found my kids. I then proceeded with the other adult lady there, to douse the fire and mull around the embers. It was simple. I actually did not need to do the whole routine MR. KIR does (you know without the HUGENESS of his fire trouble.) Amazing! Everyone else left and I finished putting out the fire and went inside with my kids.

A HUGONGOUS realization hit me. Mr. KIR's fires are scary and too big and I did not need "Mr. just returned from college, good looking, of no fire help, young man" to assist. I just needed to build a normal--not Mr. Kir-- type of fire.

So I officially decree: My fire fear Warpness is hereby removed!

Oh and, "Mr. just returned from college, good looking, of no fire help, young man" Thanks for coming to entertain the Laurels:)

Friday, April 24, 2009


Little Man use to LOVE Mr. KIR's shovel. He would drag it all over the yard "digging" holes and planting sticks and weeds and worms and on and on and on.... It is a big, bulky thing for him and seemed heavy, but he still loved it

If Mr. KIR needed to work outside, we just gave Little Man Daddy's shovel and he would work right along side him. If I took the kids outside to play, I would give the kid Dad's shovel and I could leisurely read and monitor his play time while reading from my comfy lawn chair. A perfect set up!

BUT NOW...Oh now, I have a bone to dig with the Easter Bunny! He/She thought that getting Little Man his own little, perfect for his size, real, shovel was a fantastic idea. I mean what would be better? Nothing-- The kid was gonna LOVE it!!!

See this little treasure...isn't it cute!
Here is Little Man posing after a long days work of digging while I read my book from my chair...thinking all was well in the world.: (and yes, he has on a Halloween shirt--it is his FAVORITE. And yes, he tucked it in..and yes he has cowboy boots on the wrong feet with the pants tucked in. He is a fashion conscious little guy...what is a mom suppose to do?)

See how perfect sized it is for him. See how dirty is it from play!!
And in honor of the LOVE and bone needed digging, I wrote a po-hem about our afternoon:

If a Dad plants grass and has a little boy
Don't give him a shovel to enjoy,
While mom is reading and sun basking,
Cause if you do you WILL be asking:

How many holes can a little boy dig
If a little boy can dig holes?

Thursday, April 16, 2009


Little Man: "Mom, I need some mess-i-den. I can't get the sick out."

Me: (with raised eyebrows), "Hmmm."

Little Man: "Mom, I do, I am sick of soap."

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

School at home

Sweetums has been too sick to send to school, but not too sick to do school work. For three days, we have been doing school at home. She is a smart cookie, and I am an impatient moron. Apparently, home schooling is NOT for me!

Monday, April 13, 2009

Note to self

Remember that when I go shopping to buy little Easter trinkets to give to my nieces and nephews for Easter, and the Easter Bunny comes with me, I should not let him/her buy the same stuff for my kids baskets that I have purchased for the before mentioned nieces/nephews, as the questions that arise from my older offspring are fairly incriminating!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Cooking lessons from the BEST!

This being Easter weekend, I decided to engage my offspring in a fond childhood memory of mine:
Easter Egg Roll Offs!
I have tried this in the past, but they were too young to fully grasp the concept. But now...Now, Pony Girl is 9 and Sweetums is 6. So I say, "Let the good time ROLL...or eggs...whatever."

After decorating eggs, you individually go through all your eggs, inspecting and getting a feel for each one. Then you pick your prized egg. You convince someone that they indeed want to eat an egg, as shells WILL be a flyin', and find a nice open area on the floor. The two competitors then sit a few spaces apart and proceed to roll their eggs toward one another. When the eggs hit, whomever's comes out unscathed--ROCKS!!! The competition continues until one egg is smooshed to smithereens and is pronounced the LOSER! The winners egg is then re veered as the BEST, and put away for safe keeping until the next competitor decides to fall. I am seriously NOT kidding when I say I. LOVED. THIS. when I was young.

Oh, I was beyond excited to begin this today with my girls!!! I got a dozen eggs and put them on the stove to boil. I then did my famous and ever popular, "leave the room while I am cooking" move, and went to the basement to srap.

Three hours later...YEP, 3 hours later Little Man says, "Mom, it stinks down here."
I simply think..."HoHoHo, he is such a boy."
Nope, I did not clue in.
I kept on a scrappin'...until I smelled something. I then began to panic! I BOLTED upstairs to see what Little Man had put in the toaster as I totally blamed him! (Such a good mom aren't I!!)

Did you know that boiling eggs for three hours and some odd minutes does not make for good Egg Rolling game practices? Did you know that when you boil eggs for three hours they BLOW to smithereens ALL OVER? Do you know what eggs look like after they have been boiling for three hours? or what my stove, counter tops, above the stove fan, or my favorite pan I salvaged from Ashley's goodwill pile looked like after I did it?? Did you know blown up, burned eggs smell up a house better than a caged skunk? Do you know that Mr. KIR is going to be much displeased with me when he reads this?

Well, now you do...

Tuesday, April 7, 2009


Holly to Little Man: What does "love" mean?

Little Man: "Mom."